All Apologies and A Little Catch-up

Well... I thought I had blog guilt before, but now of course I've gone way past tardy and right into neglect.  What do I have to say for myself?  Um... I'm still alive?  :}  I'm feeling a bit like Ron Weasley, showing back up at Harry & Hermione's camp after running out on them for weeks.  *Gulp*  So, yeah, sorry, but I have been terribly busy and things have... gotten in the way, and... 

Oh, never mind.  You know how it is.  But, honestly, with everything that's been going on, I have missed my little blog here.  I randomly check in on all the other blogs I follow and it's like peeking into a room full of friends, but you can't join the party 'cause you're supposed to be studying. 

All work and no play

I've got a minute now, though, (the barest minute) to stop and chat, so lets commence with the general catch-up we always have to do, shall we?

In the land of make-believe, yes I saw Deathly Hallows Part II, and yes, it was fantastic.  Well... I have to admit I was pretty disappointed in the final Harry/Voldemort showdown... I mean... where WAS everybody?  But the rest was superb.  And Snape... no words.  Alan Rickman was perfect.  But, you knew that, didn't you?  I mean, you have seen it by now... right?

Since then I've been waiting on tenterhooks (thanks for adding that phrase to my vocabulary, Ms. Rowling) for the release of the newest installment in the Dresden Files series: Ghost Story.  I've listened to every book in the series so far w/ my son on audiobook (I've edited some parts here and there, for his young ears... which are growing older by the day), and now we've gone back to listening to the last one again (Changes) just to keep us from freaking out in anticipation.  We should have the new one soon.  Very, very soon... (that last one left us on the world's largest cliffhanger, so I feel like we've been holding our breath ever since).  

And then, of course, I've been reading (with my eyes this time, on actual paper) The Passage by Justin Cronin every little down moment I get (which is usually fleeting - a moment in the car if my husband's driving, a few minutes between bites on my lunch break...).  I originally became aware of this tome's existence when I saw it on a Borders book shelf ages ago (ok... so about a year ago) and was completely captured by the storyline, but was too broke at the time to buy it.  Then, a few months ago, Mr. Cronin happened to come through my town for a book signing.  I heard the announcement on NPR, which prompted me to go out, buy the book finally, and get it signed.  I did, and he did, with the mysterious message, "All eyes."  I didn't know what it meant at the time (not having actually read it yet... seems odd to have a book signed that you haven't read, but I had faith it would be good... sometimes you just know), but I do now.  And I'm about halfway through.  If you've read this one, don't tell me how it ends.  I'm currently under it's spell, and hope to give a report once I'm done.  

In the really real world, my garden is growing and overgrown.  The child is now a teenager, and my husband and I are taking full responsibility for his corruption. (He's graduated to watching old Beavis & Butthead episodes which we happen to have on DVD... who says we don't have class.)

I am still writing. I've finished a short story but haven't gotten it published yet.  Still working on the "big" story and toying w/ the idea of expanding the short story idea into more stories.  All of which, of course, have been recently placed on the back burner as I deal with the demands of a working summer.  Autumn can't come soon enough.

In the virtual world (a sort of fiction/reality hybrid), Molly, my favorite blogger (yes, she is... the rest of you can get in line... there's nothing I can do about it, it's done.) is back in business, spinning off craziness and pure brilliance in a way only she can execute.  This is part of what brought me back here, so if you're at all glad I'm posting again, you can mostly thank her.

And then, in a virtual/really real world collision, my dear friend, GingerGirl, has been going through all kinds of adventures in Foodie Hell.  Go read.  She'll explain.  But I will say this:  it's interesting, when one of your closest friends is diagnosed with more food allergies than you ever before thought possible, how you start scrutinizing all of your own food... too see if you can still share it, or if you must keep it a safe distance, because you've seen first hand what a slip-up can do.  It sort of pulls your heart in uncomfortably odd directions, like being drawn and quartered. 

I will be back soon.  I hope some of you are still around, that you see this, and that you know how much more I want to be here than I actually am. 

A Sentient Holiday Survival Guide (and a little catch-up)

Hello friends, on this fine Thanksgiving eve.  I trust this finds you well, if a little stressed, perhaps a little apprehensive?  I know we're about to embark on that ambivalent and potentially trying time of year, The Holidays.  Here in America, we start with Thanksgiving and the fun (or misery, depending on your lot) doesn't stop until after the New Year.  If that prospect excites you, I share your joy and wish you all the magical beauty and warmth this time of year can offer.  If not, I feel you, too, because we all know that family time isn't always happy time.  But... I'll get back to that in a minute.  First, to catch up.

I saw Deathly Hallows Part 1 over the weekend, and I'm pleased to say it was fantastic.  Anyone else seen it yet?  I'd love to hear your impressions.  There were parts that took my breath away, and a few that choked me up entirely.  I need to see it again, to thoroughly digest it all (any idea on how long 'til the DVD release?), and now I'm counting the months to the release of Part 2 in July.  It's excruciating, sitting here in the middle like this.  

Yesterday, I laid my hands on a copy of Stephen King's latest collection of short stories, Full Dark, No Stars .  I haven't even cracked it open yet, except to peek at the dedication page, which is to Tabitha King, and which touched me as much as every other one that's been dedicated to her in the past.  Somehow, his dedications never get old, and never fail to make me smile.  

In other news, I need to let you know that my dear friend, Sarah Franz-Wichlacz, is selling her one-of-a-kind hand-made critters, in case you know of a certain someone (you, perhaps?) that needs a magical creature in their life.  She makes them on commission, they're going for $75 per critter, and they're bigger than you think!  You can see examples of some she's made so far on her blog here, or look over to the right at Other Worlds to See and click on wich-crafting - you'll be transported to her world.  If you are interested in commissioning one of these lovelies from the lovely Sarah, you can email her directly at sfranzwichlacz@gmail.com.  I highly recommend it.  You won't be disappointed.  (Those magical hands can conjure the most wondrous creations.)

And now to deal with those potential holiday woes.  I know many of the people of my when and where are dealing with all kinds of recent family upheavals, yours truly being no exception.  If you have no such issues, and you get along great with your family, then do give thanks and hug and kiss those wonderful relations of yours for being a positive, stable, loving influence in your life.  Don't ever take that for granted.  

For everyone else, it can be hard sometimes to muster up good will and holiday spirit when you dread the awkward conversation, the elephant in the room, the endless mortifying decisions like what gifts to give, what food to serve, dear gods, what to wear  around these people!  Fear not, dear friends.  This too shall pass.  And in the mean time, I've come up with some ways to deal with it until it does.  

First, please remember that your familial relations, be they blood-tied or in-lawed, are people, too.  This sounds cliche, I know.  But it's something we don't often stop to really consider when we're sitting there, judging each other with fake smiles on our faces.  

Each and every person you see, and your family is no exception, has nagging fears, horrible habits (like your own), and their own particular ways of protecting themselves (just like you) from anyone who seems to them to be attacking who they are or what they hold dear.  These bits of self defense may come across as a prejudice, rudeness, or a direct attack on you.  They are protecting themselves.  Remember this.  In every difficult, confusing moment, people are just trying to survive, whether they are conscious of it or not.  Think about that for a moment.  Consider the people you know and try it on for size.  Can you see how this applies?

Are you with me on this?  Do you see what I mean? 

Now that we've put that into perspective (hopefully), I want to suggest that, in order to really make it through The Holidays intact and, perhaps (dare we hope?), happy, it's important to start looking inward.  Just a moment will do.  Who are you?  At your core?  What is the very best of you?  And what do you have (don't roll your eyes) to be thankful for?  

I sometimes think the Fates set it up this way, that Thanksgiving should kick off the holiday season (at least in this country) for a reason, and, sue me, but I think I'm onto something here.  

You have something, even if it looks like the whole wide world has gone gray and black with awful loss or sadness or just plain awkward family stuff.  If you have family, count this as a blessing.  Many people have no one, and not everyone likes it that way.  If you have "no one," remember that you have yourself, that you are alive, and treat yourself to something you love, something you enjoy, something that reminds you that being alive isn't so bad.  There's still good music.  There's a sky to wonder at.  And great books to read.  Movies to watch.  New people you've never met... but could. 

What I'm trying to say, friends, is that we are all someone and so is everyone else.  Don't let an awkward moment (or an infuriating one) rattle your core.  Your Aunt Mable may always criticize your clothes or your cooking.  So what?  It makes her feel better about herself to make you feel bad.  Don't let her.  You are you and that's no better or worse than anyone else.  

You've lost someone, or your family has a great big schism running through it.  Smile at all of them, even the ones you disagree with.  The point is who is there, not who isn't.  The point is that you're all human and all going through your own experience.  Disagreements are bound to happen.  It doesn't have to make you miserable.  And if someone in your family feels the need to start a confrontation, by all means let them, as long as it's productive, as long as it's honest, as long as it means getting down to admitting there's a big fat elephant sitting in your living room.  Go ahead, hash it out.  

I used to believe that people should just "try to get along" for the holidays, but I think I've grown past that now.  I still believe people should try to appreciate each other for the holidays, but that's not the same thing.  Learning to be honest, learning to be real, even if you don't get the reactions your hoping for, is a hard thing.  But it's better.  It's worlds better.  I promise you that.  

So, let Aunt Mable criticize the turkey for the 15th year in a row.  Let her tell you that purple really isn't your color.  And then look her in the eye and ask her, openly and honestly, why she feels the need to criticize you every year.  She may deny it, she may defend it, but whatever she says, it's better than swallowing your feelings... again. 

And then make sure you show each person in your world (even Aunt Mable) that you care, that you appreciate them in some way (even if it's hard to find, everyone can be appreciated for something).  It can be a small show of appreciation (like a compliment or a smile, so long as it's genuine), or a big show, like a direct "I love you" or a long conversation.  Whatever else you do at the closing of this year, do this.  You have no idea how good this feels, to put some good will into the world, and you have no idea how much good you might actually be doing, whether you can see the proof of it or not. Either way, it may very well save your holidays.  And it most surely will save your soul.  

Summer Reading List 2010

Reading by Bulinna

So, here you are, smack dab in the middle of summer, and it's hot - insufferably hot.  And you're bored and wiped out and feeling like all you'd rather do right now is sprawl out on the sofa, the currents of your air conditioner swirling around you, or sit under your favorite shade tree, with a good book.  If that is your plight and if that is your deepest desire (because, really, how deep can you get with a heat index of 112?), then you've come to the right place.  It just so happens that I've got a few suggestions for you, right here in my back pocket.  What I have here is a list of books that are sure to keep you entranced, as you while away these hot summer days.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling: I know, it's odd to suggest the 5th book in a series, when I haven't even "suggested" the others yet.  And I must stress that this suggestion is only for those who have read the series already (or at least the first four).  However, for those of you who have seen Harry through his first four years at Hogwarts, I invite you to join me (and a few of my friends) as we begin Harry's fifth year.  If you've been following my posts thus far, you know that a few of us have started re-reading the series, one book a month, in honor of the upcoming first installment of the last Harry Potter movie. The goal is to have finished reading the last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by the end of October.  I myself plan to begin reading Order of the Phoenix on July 31st (which also happens to be Harry's birthday).  It is a thrilling tale, as Albus Dumbledore would undoubtedly have said, and it would be so much fun if you came along with us.  

This volume is particularly fitting for August as it begins with a London heat wave.  I won't lie - this is my favorite of the HP7, though from this point on, everything starts to rush together, all of the stakes are higher, and there's just no point in trying to stop after 5.  You'll pick up 6.  You'll have to.  It will feel as though you've been placed under the Imperius Curse and are helpless to disobey.  And when you finish with The Half-Blood Prince, you will rush to grab the Deathly Hallows from your shelf (or go buy it, if you're one of the unfortunate few who haven't yet read the conclusion to the Harry Potter series) and will feverishly open that first page and dive in again.  The only challenge here is, can you pace yourself?  Can you save it for October, so that by the movie's release date, the book is still fresh in your mind?  Can you resist?

  Lord of the Flies by William Golding:  This is one that I consider an essential summer read.  Many consider this a classic, but I fear that some people believe that classic = boring.  Not this book, my friends.  I would never do that to you.  This novel tells the story of a flock of private school boys who find themselves stranded on a deserted island, all alone, without a grownup in sight.  Like Neverland gone wrong, this tale is gritty and sometimes chilling as you see the darker side of humanity rear it's piggish head.  

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams:  Alright, let's lighten up a bit, shall we?  If you haven't read it, I'm sure you've at least heard of it, and believe me, all the hype is WELL deserved.  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s and guaranteed to have you guffawing right out loud (something you might keep in mind if you plan on reading in public).  This is the first in the series, and you'll want to read them all, so buckle your seatbelts for a wild intergalactic ride.  Whatever you do, DON'T PANIC, and don't forget your towel.

Pardon Me, You're Stepping on My Eyeball! by Paul Zindel:  Ok, so Amazon didn't have a single image for this one.  I'm very disappointed.  But... nothing doing, we move on.  Some books are just personal.  This one was for me.  I read this book in my early teens and it has stayed with me ever since.  This is a book written for the YA market.  This is not a public service announcement or a sexy vampire thriller.  This story is more uncomfortable and more "real" than any of those things.  I could write an entire blog entry reviewing this book, but I'll try to make this brief.  This story follows two characters, a boy and a girl, misfits in their own worlds.  It is not a romance, per se, but a story of connection and alienation.  I don't know quite what to compare it with for you... maybe Harold and Maude?  But, the vibe, not the storyline.  Perhaps a touch of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?  But here, the story and (again) the vibe, not the heady philosophy.  I suppose I'll just have to ask you to trust me on this one.  If you've ever felt that, no matter who is with you, you're still on this journey alone, then this strange and beautiful book is for you.  

It by Stephen King:  And now we come to our obligatory Stephen King.  Dispensing with the lengthy book titles I seem to have gravitated toward for this Summer Reading List, here is Sai King's shortest title, and one that may well be in the running for Shortest Book Title In History.  However It is NOT the shortest book at 1,104 pages, and so has lots to show you on these long summer days.  Many moons ago I mentioned that It is my favorite King novel.  Of course, this was also my first King novel, and it's hard to hold a candle to your first love.  But, I digress.  

It is the tale of the children of Derry, Maine, children who bond together as they fight for their lives against the most unspeakable terror... and then they grow up, and the nightmare begins again.  Page-turning suspense, intense friendship, strength of human character and more than a little connection to Sai King's "other worlds", this book is worth every last page. 

The Burden (and Liberation) of Knowledge

Zucchini Blossom... doesn't get more summer than this!

Hello, my friends.  Long time no post!  I know, I know… I really shouldn’t neglect you like this, and I am terribly sorry.  It’s just that I was going about my business, trying to put things in order, getting distracted by this thing and that, when I turned the corner and ran smack into summer!  I can’t believe it’s here, officially, really here.  The Summer Solstice was just this past Monday and the days have been hovering in the mid-90s, with heat indexes soaring high above that.  Welcome, Ra.  Your time has come.

What has been my distraction, you might ask?  What is my excuse for being so absent?  I blame two things – education and Harry Potter.  Because I’m quirky like that (and because it’s the shorter of the two), I’ll start by explaining the latter.   You know, I’m sure, that the first part of the last Harry Potter movie (which you probably also know has been broken up into two movies) comes out this November.  In honor of this bittersweet event, my friends and I have started a little reading group, intent on re-reading the entire series, one book per month, before the movie hits the theaters.  We have just started Goblet of Fire.  But I’m sure that, because of Distraction No. 1, I am behind everyone else.  This seems to be my lot in life right now, consistently behind.

And now, onto Distraction No. 1.  Education.  See my last post and you’ll get an idea of where I’m headed here.  Due to my recent studies, I now know too much about the industrial food industry.  I can hardly stand buying food in grocery stores anymore, because I so vehemently disagree with our society’s food system.  What I knew before as abstract, bigger than me, concepts has now become too personal to ignore.  In a nutshell, this is what I’ve found.

Produce is grown on huge industrial farms, full of pesticides, the soil stripped of nutrients so drastically that these fields are only viable with the addition of massive amounts of chemical fertilizers.  Then the produce is shipped thousands of miles to the “consumer”… i.e., the people who eat it.  Meat, on the other hand, the stuff you get in the supermarket, is raised primarily on feed lots where the animals (mostly cows, pigs and chickens) are confined to pens, standing without being able to turn around or lay down, knee and belly deep in their own feces, eating diets that they were never intended to eat, causing not only a horribly sad diseased existence for these animals, but also causing their meat to be unnaturally unhealthy for us, leading to outbreaks of e. coli, mad cow disease, high cholesterol, etc.  Yes, I’m ranting.  This is only the very vaguest tip of this iceberg. 

On top of that scary picture, farmers, regular farmers, are losing and have lost their livelihoods.  Industrial farming has all but obliterated them.  Small farming is making a comeback, thanks to the local food movement and the slow food movement, but most of these farmers would go out of business if it weren’t for the farmer’s markets.  Am I freaking out?  Yeah, a bit.  Because all of this education has led me to look at myself, to look at all my talk and wonder what it amounts to if I’m still buying genetically modified corn and a hamburger that was once a cow who very likely was so sick at the end of its short life cycle that it could barely walk to the slaughterhouse. 

If we are what we eat, and we’re eating this, than what, as a nation, as a people, as a society, are we?  Are we sick and used and imprisoned?  Are we stripped of our soul like the nutrients of the soil in which our industrially farmed vegetables are grown?  Are we thieves, like the corporate food giants that have stolen a way of life from not only our nation’s farmers, but from farmers in countries (usually the poorest ) all over the world?  Do we have no sense of honor?  Do we have no standards?  This touches on every level of every issue this world currently has.  This is about human rights, animal rights, the economy and the environment.  This is about public health and war and national security.  This is about people dying of starvation in third world countries.  This is about people dying of malnutrition and obesity in the United States of America.  This is bigger and more important than I ever let myself see before.  And this is something that we can change.

I know no one wants to hear about it, and I know I’m supposed to shut up and just buy my groceries at Wal-Mart like everyone else, because who really cares?  It’s food, and buying stuff that’s produced in another way, a more NORMAL way, circa pre-World War II, is more expensive and a hell of a lot less convenient.  But I do care, and I can’t just ignore that fact anymore.  I can’t keep eating the crap they’ve been feeding us, justifying it with “it’s easier” and “it’s cheaper”.  If I was Jewish, and I had to eat kosher, you would understand.  Instead, I’m just another human, trying to recognize where I came from and what that means, with no other reason for my choices than to say that I am trying to take some responsibility, to live up to my own standards.  They say ignorance is bliss, and maybe they’re right.  But once you know a thing, you can’t un-know it.  At least I can’t. 

So now I am working through my current biggest conundrum – how to feed my family without supporting the industrial food industry, without going hungry this winter, and without going broke.  I’m hitting the farmers markets, buying up seasonal produce and anything else I can find and afford.  I’m freezing however much I can, socking away food like a squirrel, preparing for winter.  I’m meeting local farmers and trying to keep track of what’s in season when, so I can plan our next meal.  Food has taken over my life.  And, I have to tell you, it’s one of the happiest “sacrifices” I’ve ever made.

Here are some links, if you want to learn more on this yourself.   

http://www.appropedia.org/Local_food

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sustainable_agriculture

http://www.sustainabletable.org/issues/

http://www.localharvest.org/

And if you're prone to dig deeper, you might read these books:


(Please note, I have read all of these books but the last.  I am including it here, however, because The Omnivore's Dilemma comes highly recommended by others who share in my quest for a better relationship with food and I do plan to read it very soon.)

Break Out the Exploding Snaps!

I told myself I wasn’t going to freak out, that I was going to be mature about this. After all, it’s just another day. But…. IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!


Yes, friends, today is the day, the day thousands of people have been waiting months and months and, wait … a few more months… for – the American release of Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince in theaters across the country. And everywhere, Harry Potter fans, not least of all yours truly, are celebrating and all but bursting with anticipation. Of course, as fate would have it, yours truly will not be watching this most excellent of films until sometime this weekend. Sigh. Nevertheless, it is cause for excitement just knowing that at midnight tonight I could, if Fate were kinder and I so chose, if I had things my way (no singing, please), stand in line at my local theater, throw down my $8.50 and see the movie for the first time in its final and polished entirety. No more trolling the internet for any trailer or bit of HBP rumor info I can find. No more wringing of hands, watching the countdown to movie time and going, “Oh please, are we there yet?” No, friends. We have arrived.


So, in honor of this blessed event, I raise my butterbeer to JK Rowling, mastermind and seamstress of this incredible tail. And to Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, thanks for being a stand-up guy, Harry, with your moral fiber and your “saving people thing”. The world needs more Harry Potters – people who stand up for what they believe in and aren’t afraid to explore the possibilities. Today my blog is dedicated to you. Today we celebrate!


If you’re not a Harry Potter fan, sorry, I just couldn’t help it. In the immortal words of the great Arthur Weasley, “We can’t resist showing off when we get together.” If you are a Potter fan, you get it.


Now I leave you all with a little video that has been the source of hours of fascination and entertainment for many of my Potter-lovin’ friends.

http://www.thefifthdistrict.com/potter/

Suck It Up

Another day in paradise, and I gotta' say, the spark isn't really finding me lately. It's been much like swimming through mud and pushing myself to keep moving forward. Too much summer heat, too many things in the schedule to keep track of, too much clutter in the old noggin. Occasionally, I catch one of those little glimpses of... something... but it usually ends up being the mental equivalent of seeing what you're just sure was a great snowy owl soaring past, only to find it's a plastic grocery sack floating through the air. Ugh.

So, Muse, what gives? Are you taking a break? On strike? Did ya' think you might mention you were going to check out before you just left me hanging here? Oh, the frustration.

Of course, if I were talking to me (as, I suppose, I am) I would tell myself to grab a cup of coffee, throw on some Vast or some Coldplay (depending on how far into my no-inspiration-havin'-funk I am at the moment) and get to crackin'. Write something, sing along to the music, close your eyes and just zone out for awhile. But whatever you do, don't sit there and whine about how mentally clogged you feel. Suck it up. Your Self is waiting.

Yeah... that being said, I think I'm going to go take a walk now and bask in this July heat, see what speaks to me. Or maybe I'll just sit in the A/C and read. Half Blood Prince is coming out tomorrow, so I've got some Potter to re-catch up on. Mmm... iced tea and Potter... that just might be the perfect reset button.