All Apologies and A Little Catch-up

Well... I thought I had blog guilt before, but now of course I've gone way past tardy and right into neglect.  What do I have to say for myself?  Um... I'm still alive?  :}  I'm feeling a bit like Ron Weasley, showing back up at Harry & Hermione's camp after running out on them for weeks.  *Gulp*  So, yeah, sorry, but I have been terribly busy and things have... gotten in the way, and... 

Oh, never mind.  You know how it is.  But, honestly, with everything that's been going on, I have missed my little blog here.  I randomly check in on all the other blogs I follow and it's like peeking into a room full of friends, but you can't join the party 'cause you're supposed to be studying. 

All work and no play

I've got a minute now, though, (the barest minute) to stop and chat, so lets commence with the general catch-up we always have to do, shall we?

In the land of make-believe, yes I saw Deathly Hallows Part II, and yes, it was fantastic.  Well... I have to admit I was pretty disappointed in the final Harry/Voldemort showdown... I mean... where WAS everybody?  But the rest was superb.  And Snape... no words.  Alan Rickman was perfect.  But, you knew that, didn't you?  I mean, you have seen it by now... right?

Since then I've been waiting on tenterhooks (thanks for adding that phrase to my vocabulary, Ms. Rowling) for the release of the newest installment in the Dresden Files series: Ghost Story.  I've listened to every book in the series so far w/ my son on audiobook (I've edited some parts here and there, for his young ears... which are growing older by the day), and now we've gone back to listening to the last one again (Changes) just to keep us from freaking out in anticipation.  We should have the new one soon.  Very, very soon... (that last one left us on the world's largest cliffhanger, so I feel like we've been holding our breath ever since).  

And then, of course, I've been reading (with my eyes this time, on actual paper) The Passage by Justin Cronin every little down moment I get (which is usually fleeting - a moment in the car if my husband's driving, a few minutes between bites on my lunch break...).  I originally became aware of this tome's existence when I saw it on a Borders book shelf ages ago (ok... so about a year ago) and was completely captured by the storyline, but was too broke at the time to buy it.  Then, a few months ago, Mr. Cronin happened to come through my town for a book signing.  I heard the announcement on NPR, which prompted me to go out, buy the book finally, and get it signed.  I did, and he did, with the mysterious message, "All eyes."  I didn't know what it meant at the time (not having actually read it yet... seems odd to have a book signed that you haven't read, but I had faith it would be good... sometimes you just know), but I do now.  And I'm about halfway through.  If you've read this one, don't tell me how it ends.  I'm currently under it's spell, and hope to give a report once I'm done.  

In the really real world, my garden is growing and overgrown.  The child is now a teenager, and my husband and I are taking full responsibility for his corruption. (He's graduated to watching old Beavis & Butthead episodes which we happen to have on DVD... who says we don't have class.)

I am still writing. I've finished a short story but haven't gotten it published yet.  Still working on the "big" story and toying w/ the idea of expanding the short story idea into more stories.  All of which, of course, have been recently placed on the back burner as I deal with the demands of a working summer.  Autumn can't come soon enough.

In the virtual world (a sort of fiction/reality hybrid), Molly, my favorite blogger (yes, she is... the rest of you can get in line... there's nothing I can do about it, it's done.) is back in business, spinning off craziness and pure brilliance in a way only she can execute.  This is part of what brought me back here, so if you're at all glad I'm posting again, you can mostly thank her.

And then, in a virtual/really real world collision, my dear friend, GingerGirl, has been going through all kinds of adventures in Foodie Hell.  Go read.  She'll explain.  But I will say this:  it's interesting, when one of your closest friends is diagnosed with more food allergies than you ever before thought possible, how you start scrutinizing all of your own food... too see if you can still share it, or if you must keep it a safe distance, because you've seen first hand what a slip-up can do.  It sort of pulls your heart in uncomfortably odd directions, like being drawn and quartered. 

I will be back soon.  I hope some of you are still around, that you see this, and that you know how much more I want to be here than I actually am. 

A Sentient Holiday Survival Guide (and a little catch-up)

Hello friends, on this fine Thanksgiving eve.  I trust this finds you well, if a little stressed, perhaps a little apprehensive?  I know we're about to embark on that ambivalent and potentially trying time of year, The Holidays.  Here in America, we start with Thanksgiving and the fun (or misery, depending on your lot) doesn't stop until after the New Year.  If that prospect excites you, I share your joy and wish you all the magical beauty and warmth this time of year can offer.  If not, I feel you, too, because we all know that family time isn't always happy time.  But... I'll get back to that in a minute.  First, to catch up.

I saw Deathly Hallows Part 1 over the weekend, and I'm pleased to say it was fantastic.  Anyone else seen it yet?  I'd love to hear your impressions.  There were parts that took my breath away, and a few that choked me up entirely.  I need to see it again, to thoroughly digest it all (any idea on how long 'til the DVD release?), and now I'm counting the months to the release of Part 2 in July.  It's excruciating, sitting here in the middle like this.  

Yesterday, I laid my hands on a copy of Stephen King's latest collection of short stories, Full Dark, No Stars .  I haven't even cracked it open yet, except to peek at the dedication page, which is to Tabitha King, and which touched me as much as every other one that's been dedicated to her in the past.  Somehow, his dedications never get old, and never fail to make me smile.  

In other news, I need to let you know that my dear friend, Sarah Franz-Wichlacz, is selling her one-of-a-kind hand-made critters, in case you know of a certain someone (you, perhaps?) that needs a magical creature in their life.  She makes them on commission, they're going for $75 per critter, and they're bigger than you think!  You can see examples of some she's made so far on her blog here, or look over to the right at Other Worlds to See and click on wich-crafting - you'll be transported to her world.  If you are interested in commissioning one of these lovelies from the lovely Sarah, you can email her directly at sfranzwichlacz@gmail.com.  I highly recommend it.  You won't be disappointed.  (Those magical hands can conjure the most wondrous creations.)

And now to deal with those potential holiday woes.  I know many of the people of my when and where are dealing with all kinds of recent family upheavals, yours truly being no exception.  If you have no such issues, and you get along great with your family, then do give thanks and hug and kiss those wonderful relations of yours for being a positive, stable, loving influence in your life.  Don't ever take that for granted.  

For everyone else, it can be hard sometimes to muster up good will and holiday spirit when you dread the awkward conversation, the elephant in the room, the endless mortifying decisions like what gifts to give, what food to serve, dear gods, what to wear  around these people!  Fear not, dear friends.  This too shall pass.  And in the mean time, I've come up with some ways to deal with it until it does.  

First, please remember that your familial relations, be they blood-tied or in-lawed, are people, too.  This sounds cliche, I know.  But it's something we don't often stop to really consider when we're sitting there, judging each other with fake smiles on our faces.  

Each and every person you see, and your family is no exception, has nagging fears, horrible habits (like your own), and their own particular ways of protecting themselves (just like you) from anyone who seems to them to be attacking who they are or what they hold dear.  These bits of self defense may come across as a prejudice, rudeness, or a direct attack on you.  They are protecting themselves.  Remember this.  In every difficult, confusing moment, people are just trying to survive, whether they are conscious of it or not.  Think about that for a moment.  Consider the people you know and try it on for size.  Can you see how this applies?

Are you with me on this?  Do you see what I mean? 

Now that we've put that into perspective (hopefully), I want to suggest that, in order to really make it through The Holidays intact and, perhaps (dare we hope?), happy, it's important to start looking inward.  Just a moment will do.  Who are you?  At your core?  What is the very best of you?  And what do you have (don't roll your eyes) to be thankful for?  

I sometimes think the Fates set it up this way, that Thanksgiving should kick off the holiday season (at least in this country) for a reason, and, sue me, but I think I'm onto something here.  

You have something, even if it looks like the whole wide world has gone gray and black with awful loss or sadness or just plain awkward family stuff.  If you have family, count this as a blessing.  Many people have no one, and not everyone likes it that way.  If you have "no one," remember that you have yourself, that you are alive, and treat yourself to something you love, something you enjoy, something that reminds you that being alive isn't so bad.  There's still good music.  There's a sky to wonder at.  And great books to read.  Movies to watch.  New people you've never met... but could. 

What I'm trying to say, friends, is that we are all someone and so is everyone else.  Don't let an awkward moment (or an infuriating one) rattle your core.  Your Aunt Mable may always criticize your clothes or your cooking.  So what?  It makes her feel better about herself to make you feel bad.  Don't let her.  You are you and that's no better or worse than anyone else.  

You've lost someone, or your family has a great big schism running through it.  Smile at all of them, even the ones you disagree with.  The point is who is there, not who isn't.  The point is that you're all human and all going through your own experience.  Disagreements are bound to happen.  It doesn't have to make you miserable.  And if someone in your family feels the need to start a confrontation, by all means let them, as long as it's productive, as long as it's honest, as long as it means getting down to admitting there's a big fat elephant sitting in your living room.  Go ahead, hash it out.  

I used to believe that people should just "try to get along" for the holidays, but I think I've grown past that now.  I still believe people should try to appreciate each other for the holidays, but that's not the same thing.  Learning to be honest, learning to be real, even if you don't get the reactions your hoping for, is a hard thing.  But it's better.  It's worlds better.  I promise you that.  

So, let Aunt Mable criticize the turkey for the 15th year in a row.  Let her tell you that purple really isn't your color.  And then look her in the eye and ask her, openly and honestly, why she feels the need to criticize you every year.  She may deny it, she may defend it, but whatever she says, it's better than swallowing your feelings... again. 

And then make sure you show each person in your world (even Aunt Mable) that you care, that you appreciate them in some way (even if it's hard to find, everyone can be appreciated for something).  It can be a small show of appreciation (like a compliment or a smile, so long as it's genuine), or a big show, like a direct "I love you" or a long conversation.  Whatever else you do at the closing of this year, do this.  You have no idea how good this feels, to put some good will into the world, and you have no idea how much good you might actually be doing, whether you can see the proof of it or not. Either way, it may very well save your holidays.  And it most surely will save your soul.  

Having Been Away

Hello, friends!  I’m here, I’m here!  So sorry about the wind blustering in behind me… I have been in such a rush!  I’m back, however, here to assure you that I haven’t died or joined the circus or taken a vow of internet silence with the local monastery.  But I have been away, in so many ways, and there is a fair bit of catching up to do.

During the first week of August, I was out of town, visiting my Northern sister, who, incidentally, is also my oldest friend.  She’s one of my September girls, if you remember my mention of them in a previous post, and we’d been planning this trip for over a year.  This is our 20th year of friendship in this life, you see, and by the gods, we were going to celebrate!

Let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, I was the new girl in a small town in North Dakota.  I met a girl there in my literature class, a quiet figure with a porcelain face and a baby doll dress, who sat at a desk ahead of me in the next row, and who, for no reason that I can recall, turned around one day to smile at me.  I smiled back.

There are some people that, when you meet, the moment remains etched in your mind.  You may forget some minor details.  You may forget what day of the week it was, for example, or what you were wearing, but the moment, friends… that spark of a moment remains, as accessible as if it were something that happened just minutes ago, and if you could only take a single step back, you could be there again.  That was my meeting with Sarah.  Perhaps she felt it, too, because the way she turned to me, a stranger to her then, was as if I was someone, as if we already were a we.  And, I suppose, from that point on, we were.  Yes... sometimes things happen like this in real life.  At least, they have in mine.

As you can see, we haven’t lost touch in all of this time, even though I’ve traveled far and wide, she relocated to a Much Bigger Town, and I ended up living several states removed from where we met.  This, in itself, is a testament to the strength of our bond, and something to mark as sacred.

We had a fantastic time in August, she showing me around her world, taking me to where all of her favorite things reside, and dutifully watching copious amounts of Doctor Who (Sarah had promised Gingergirl that she’d have me hooked by the time she sent me home...  Mission accomplished, by the way).

Ever since then, I’ve been back in my where, with my people and pets, and have been reveling in the work that makes a house a home.  It’s fall now, you know, and the crisp air always makes me want to start nesting.  I’ve also been writing like a woman possessed and reading or listening (on audio book) to Potters 5 & 6 between the cracks.  We’re about to start on 7, come October 1st - Deathly Hallows… and then the movie in November.  I can hardly breathe for waiting.

We  have also just passed the birthday of my Libra sister, my other September girl.  I’ll tell her story on another day.  Maybe tomorrow.  We shall see.